Sorry folks; if companies are people too (as the Supreme Court decreed in Citizens United), then when they get caught racketeering, the CEO shouldn’t get early retirement. He should get solitary confinement and be stripped of all earnings during the period the crimes were committed. Even if it means his family has to move into a furnished apartment on a street without a gatehouse.
Have you noticed the apology ads airing lately from corporate giants?
Uber is promising not to be so toxic to its drivers, passengers and employees.
Facebook says it’s going to become the wonderful place it was always supposed to be – before it made the little boo-boo of undermining democracy around the world, and treating its users with the same level of respect that Mark Zuckerberg gave to the Winkelvoss twins on his way up the ladder to arrogant prickhood.
Wells Fargo: Remember that time we took your house, then stole your money, then charged a low-balance fee? We didn’t think so. Now give us your money.
And before any company has the chance to break the world through negligence or by committing literally millions of crimes, it needs to be put out of business.
But wait? Won’t that hurt millions of small investors?
Why yes, yes it would. And all of us – and more pointedly the managers of our money market funds – would have to think twice about buying stock in a company whose senior management is criminally minded. It would set off a much-needed HEPA-cleansing of corporate suites everywhere.
Facebook: Remember when we sold your data to a predator who used it to undermine freedom and democracy? We admit it, we should have charged more.
Uber’s new CEO: Remember how the old CEO turned everything he touched into a pile of toxic goo? My goo is water-soluble.